Ten Things

Here is a list of ten things no one knows about me. I think.


(1) Sometimes after a stressful day at work, I, or someone who looks freakishy similar to me, will play country music full blast in her jeep on the way home. Not that I, or she, likes country music mind you. I-she just finds the corny lyrics played loudly after hearing the same non-obtrusive mind numbing music repeatedly force onto me-her, to have a defunkafiing effect. When coming to a stop light I-she will roll up her window so not to be overheard and nod her head in random rhythm as if to "fly" tunes.

(2) I once had a French Canadian boyfriend named Skeeter Minyeah. (min-yeah, I purposely misspelled his last name encase he googles himself and finds out what I geek I turned into and the fact I am now telling both our dark secreats.) Skeeter was three years younger than me at the time. Not a a big deal now but back in the day that was a big age difference. He gave me his blue soft flannel shirt after confiding in me his real name was Lawance, to keep me from telling anyone. During stressful times I would sleep in his shirt to self comfort. Without washing. Ever. I liked Skeeters smell that much. Not that he, personally was a comforting person. On the contrary, he could be somewhat of a hyper spaz. I continued to wear it occasional, unwashed for the first two years after I moved in with Hubby. Then he unknowingly threw it in with a load of darks. I would still were it now if it hadn't burned.

(3) I have owned my Harley now for twelve years but have never gotten my motorcycle endorsement. I hate tests that much. I took the safety classes and got the highest score out of the thirty attending (experienced male drivers included) on the written test and won a t-shirt. I had my permit on which I missed only one question but it long since expired. Authorities see a chick on a hog dressed in full ridding gear and think I'm legite. Someday. Maybe.

(4) When I was fourteen and staying at a fishing resort, living and working as a cabin girl, I ran off to see the pope whille he was on tour, up in Winnipeg Canada, with a bunch of drunken tourist resort goers. Colleen, my sixteen year old cabin mate and I were not catholic, it just sounded fun to see the pope-mobile. About a hundred twenty five miles on the other side of the border when they sobered up and realized we were minors, they made me pull the van over, so they could drive us back. The man who had me relinquish the wheel bought me my first Dairy Queen in a small town called Manitowakee. They told our resort owner boss we had been out fishing so we would not get fired. We stopped for fresh fish at the next resort over before returning as evidence.

(5) I have a stock pile supply of my favorite Popeye canned spinach that I hold out from my family. I tear the labels off the cans and write things like "pumpkin" or "sliced beets" on the can so they will not eat my beloved supply.

(6) If I think about what I am doing, I cannot walk down the stairs without falling. If I ponder about the fact I am actually going down the stairs, I then must stop talking to concentrate on what I am doing, and watch me feet. I have my stairs in my house counted so I know in the back of my mind how many times I have to pick my feet up. If I mess up , I try walking straight off the second to the last stair into the air. Or I will do that stupid little extra-one more step dance at the flat floor bottom thinking I have one more to go. Yes, must be a uncoordinated depth-perception thing I have missing. I want a stair chair lift for Christmas. Shoot, now I have psyced myself into it and over thought this too much and am gonna crash when I finish this to go downstairs.

(7) I once officially changed my name to "Cookie". I would not answer to anything but "Cookie". I was five years old at the time, I later changed it to "Bonnie". I now love my real name. I would not change it to "Cookie" for all the cookies in the world. (And I certainly wouldn't share them with Bonnie.)

(8) Once in an extremely intimate moment, my partner whispered to me, "Be my naughty little girl", encouragingly. To which I replied with all sincerity, "Yesss....I'm missing church!". I was. It was a Wednesday night.

(9)When my youngest son, K2 was an infant I actually did dress him up as a little girl just to know what it would feel like to have a daughter to deck out in frills. Please don't tell him that I did, as my version now is that I had only wanted to. It didn't work. I couldn't get him in the pink little outfit. My cat, on the other hand, looked quite sweet in it.

(10) When I first met Hubby, I told him I couldn't even boil water, much less cook, Granted, I certainly didn't know how to whip out the dishes I do now. But man, back then I sure was taken out to dinner a lot.

(10.a) I am secretly married to the Rock. You wonder why I refure to my other half as Hubby, and that he works out of town so frequent? We just like to keep our personal life out of the spotlight. That other "wife" is just an actress front for our protection. The little girl you ask? Take a close look. Our love child.

Ok so it 10 out of 11 true things about me that few know about. Guess all you want but I'm not letting you in on which is untrue. Not without some bribes here.